Very Bad Days

Hubs dragged my ass to the ER on Saturday night after not being able to eat or hold anything down since Thursday morning. The ER doctor was not convinced that GAD/PA is the cause and ran several tests. In my delirium I think I remember a SAT scan and an ultra sound. No, I definitely remember the CAT scan, how could I forget that. I couldn't eat or drink anything without it coming back up but I had to drink like 40oz of this nasty milky (contrast) as they called it. SO they had to put an NG tube down my nose. I don't know if you have every had one... but it was the single most painful experience of my whole life. After listening to me wail for what seemed like forever they finally looked INSIDE my not to make sure the fucker would fit. Well, wouldn't you know it, IT WAS TOO BIG! So they tried a child's size one and that seemed to go much better. Still lots of pain, but nothing like before. Then I had to sit with that thing in my nose for 2 hours so they could dump this nasty shit down my throat. Ugh!

The nurses tried to joke, that it couldn't be THAT painful, I mean, I didn't have a baby. Sorry lady, but I don't know if you've heard of it... but they have this thing called an epidural, you can't feel ANYTHING. They didn't have that for my NOSE. So, YES it WAS more painful!

So I am supposed to call a Gastroentorologist today but honestly I don't even know anymore. Is it in my head? Is it something "real?" I almost wish I was pregnant (and that is saying ALOT coming from someone who is ONE AND DONE). At least then I would have a good reason for being sick again. Plus, babies are always such a blessing... and then I would know it would all be over in 9 months.

I guess I am just kinda scared that even after the meds have gotten to a point where the symptoms are manageable, this will still and always be in my head. That scares the shit out of me. I just want my normal life.

Anyway, its just about time for lunch and I have learned that the better I tend to eat, the better day I tend to have. You'd think if it was only that simple how hard could it be, right?

More than you know!