6.17.2009

Dear Friends - An Update

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Dear Friends,

I have been MIA lately... online, at home, in nearly every aspect of my life. It seems that everything is a mess and the more I try to fix it, the worse it gets. And it's all, unfortunately, of my own doing.

As I'm sure you've all deduced from my previous blog posts (however sparse) and my tweets (many, many tweets) that I am having problems at home. I don't really want to go into any detail but it's been an extremely trying times for Hubs and I.

It's amazing how one day, things are all butterflies and sunshine and the next your world can be crumbling around you and you're helpless to do anything but watch. But the truth is, I wasn't helpless. I got myself into this disastrous situation and only I can work my hardest to get out of it. Many of our (MY) problems stem from my sense of self-worth, or lack thereof, I should say. And instead of turning to the one person I should have, I didn't; now I have to live with that.
I'm very, very lucky to have Hubs in my life. I'm lucky to have someone who is willing to fight for me when I can't find the strength to fight for myself. He is there for me and always has been, I just regret that it had to get to this point for me to see that. I wish I could see myself though his eyes for just one second... because I know we don't see eye to eye on, well, me.

But back to you all. I have neglected you, my friends. I tend to become very reclusive and anti-social when stress gets the better of me. And I've done it again. And I'm sorry. There have been so many of you who have left heartfelt comments and sent emails that have gone unresponded to (but not ignored). Each one brought a smile to my face, a small ray of light in the bleakness of my life right now. Thank you.

I love you all so much! I know I have never met any of you in person so it just blows my mind how supportive you all have been. You all make me feel so warm and fuzzy inside! Please know that it hasn't gone un-noticed, I just suck sometimes.

I'll be back, I'm sure. This is just another bump in the road of life. Besides, forever is a long time, I never expected that the journey that is marriage would be easy. Once I get my head screwed back on straight... it might take a while, but I'll be back.


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PS - It's also Blog Hop Day, which I have not scrapped. It was a sketch challenge but I have been completely devoid of any creative energy lately. So, check out the amazing scrappy ladies (and dear, dear friends of mine) via the link on my sidebar!

15 comments:

Andrea said...

We love you Kelsy!! I hope you are able to work it out. As a matter of fact I know you will. You are certainly worth it, so keep your head up girl!
{seriously? my verification word is "sessy" LMAO!}

maggisaar said...

Darling, though we've only met in Tweets and blogs, I've been praying for you. I hope everything gets better soon.

Remember, like Eddie Vedder says, "No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead."

*giant internet hug*

Krazy Armstrong K's! said...

Good to hear from you! May God grant you all the strength and love you need at this trying time! Love and miss you!
XOXO
Katrina

ToccaraFeliciano said...

Hey girly I had been thinking of you and praying for you and your family. I know that all will work out for you God made one person exactally for you and you have him already so fight as hard as you can to keep what is yours. we all make mistakes and life and ourselves are not perfect. Don't beat yourself up! Stay Up! and you guys love each other so there is no reason you can't fight for each other and work things out. you have not been together since 15 I think your blog says to just let go! I am always in favor of marriage so I am rooting for you too!
Toccara

Nicole said...

I'm hoping the best for you. You are so worth it. Be strong!

Julia said...

well, i'm glad to get an update from you. but i can't imagine how tough it must be for you right now. Focus on your family... that is the most important thing right now. While we (your dear internet friends) miss you greatly, just know that we understand.

take care of yourself. you are beautiful!! love you!

roxybonds said...

Kelsy- you KNOW i've been dealing with A LOT recently in my marriage. I am here for you if you need! I will be praying for you!
xoxo

sarah said...

i'm so glad you wrote an update. hope things are starting to pick up in your neck of the woods.

keep strong.

hugs,
sarah.

Heather said...

Kelsy, still here if you need anything. Praying for you and I can send you some great resources for working on your marriage, we've tried it all!

mom2andrew&leo said...

Kelsy glad to hear from you. You are an amazing person! Try to stay strong and know that we are here for you. I'm glad to get an update. xoxoxo

Shasta said...

I have been thinking if you Kelsy :) Hang in there Girl!

Jodie said...

I love ya Kelsy! Sending you a heartfelt hug.

Lacey said...

Hey lady... you have my number (I think) text me if u ever need to talk! My hubby and I were going through some tough times and I am the one who fucked up in the long run. I don't know details of ur problems... but maybe... just maybe we are more alike than we thought (if that's possible) I luv u keep your head up! Believe me fighting for what you know is right is how its supposed to be!

Nicole said...

Hey! Just so you know, I got your package and LOVED IT! So much cute stuff. Thank you very very very much! I hope everything is going okay for you.

-Nicole

Felicia said...

I am just finding your blog. This post makes my heart ache for you. I am lifting you and your family up in prayer right now.

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