Wanna Know a Secret?


Goose slept in our bedroom for the first nine months of her life. Most of it in a bassinet, but since I was breast feeding, there were many (okay, every) nights that we ended up co-sleeping. I know the risks... it was just EASIER! But at about nine months, it was January, our New Years Resolution... to finally move Goose into her own room. For the first two weeks or so, she still ended up in our bed, despite my husbands pleas that the switch be permanent.

And before I knew it... it was.

That began the phase of playing in the family bed. Now, in hindsight, I recommend against this. But both Hubs and I work full time. We are tired at the end of the day, and as all parents know, kids never cooperate with your schedule. Anyway, we would bring her to our bed. One would cook dinner, the other would lay in the padded "island" with our princess and "relax" while she played. Jumping around the bed, screaming with happiness. (This then led to the phase that meant Mom and Dad's bed was for playing-not sleeping...not cool)

But I still missed snuggling up to her at night. Smelling her hair, warming her cold hands and feet, smothering her with my safe embrace.

So on those rare nights that she wakes up in the middle of the night, I always go against procedure. The procedure of which is supposed to be putting her back in her own bed. But ya know what, Hubs never wakes up... either a heavy sleeper or a faker, I think a combination of both, (though he is a heavy sleeper...) So I let her come to be with me. I sneak her in on my side, she drags her pillow up with her. I snuggle up close to Goose and Cassie-bear and gaze at the clock, 3 am, and know I probably wont get much more sleep for the night. But I don't care.

Because, in this moment, Goose still wants to come to bed with me and snuggle up close and cozy. And I know these precious moments are fleeting. Childhood is so sweet and passes in the blink of an eye. I'm not going to miss a second of time that she wants to spend with me. It's because I know that it wont last forever. Maybe tonight will be the last night she wants to climb into my bed for comfort. The last time she'll want to "snuggle" because thats the way it is with kids... you never know, but you never want to lose those moments.

I know that I spend too much of my time with her being angry. And I know its just the THREES... but when she is sleeping - she is still my little baby. That tiny little Goose that needed me for everything. Awake, she is this independent little person of her own and soon, I may not fit into her busy life.

So I plan on relishing every kiss and cuddle and "sleep over" until she no longer wants to give them.

Don't tell my Hubs!




Shasta said...

So sweet Kelsy! It does go by fast :(

Keeley Kirwan said...

Kelsy that was ver well written and oh so the truth!! I got teary-eyed reading it and just knowing that that time will come soon I am sure with my three year old. Here's to holding on as long as we can!! :o)

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