7.14.2010

Ten Things About Parenting

Today, I am gonna share my top ten things
I wish someone would have told me about parenting and/or
ten things I would tell someone about to have a kid.

1. Baby stuff is for mom.  Babies don't care if the swing you bought is the coolest one on the market.  They don't care if their clothes are in style.  I'll be honest, I'm just like any other mother, any other woman... I love to shop. So, shopping for my girl is no different. I have to admit, I went overboard with my "need" list for my baby shower and I spent more money than I should have on clothes.  Babies grow SO fast! Invest in quality items but know that sometimes, used is better. Seriously, babies are so cute on their own, they don't need the cutest clothes/stroller/diaper bag. So just know that the stuff is really all for YOU and not for baby.

2. Listen (and trust) your parents. They already did it once (at least) and you survived, right? I know some people have crazy parents, but thats a different issue.  Yes, your parents will do things different than you.  And yes, you may need to inform them of the "new" medical issues that exists that didnt X years ago.  But different isn't worse.  Sure they might let your kid eat ice cream and stay up late, but that never killed anyone.  I never understood my parents until I became one, and it is such a gift.

3. Everything changes.  This is the most cliche line in parenting, but it is also true.  Everything, I mean EVERYTHING will change the moment your baby is born.  The way you see the world is completely different.  The relationship between you and your spouse... your parents... yourself.  And it can be really bad if you let it.  The most important part is to not lose what you had before parenthood.  You need to be true to yourself and know that the baby is becoming part of your life and should be integrated into it.  Be open to the changes but dont forget about the foundation. Build on it.

4. You will feel guilty. No matter what. Its impossible to avoid.  You will feel guilty. About something, maybe about everything.  You work so you feel guilty for being away.  You stay home and you feel guilty for not contributing financially.  Are you feeding your baby right? Well, my baby said her first word at four months, what about yours?  Don't feel guilty? Then you will feel guilty for not feeling guilty.  Truth is, in the end, it doesn't matter when or what or how.  Love your child. Period. Do whats best for them.  Try your hardest.  If you are doing those things, you are doing it right. Even if someone tells you different. 

5. Its okay to cry.  This goes for both you and baby.  Its okay to let them cry and its okay for you to cry about it.  I can't tell you how many times, when we were trying to train Goose to sleep through the night, that I would put her in her crib bawling and I would leave the house, sit on the porch and cry.  Sometimes parenting is alot to handle.  We all have are breaking points.  Its okay to put a fussy baby in their crib to cry it out.  The crib is a safe place.  Take a moment to yourself if you need it.  You will both survive!

6. Sleep when the baby sleeps.  Another cliche parenting rule. But again, so true! And this is also one of the hardest things to do.  But, especially when baby is brand new, sleep whenever you can.  Let the dishes pile up and the laundry sit in the dryer.  When baby is asleep, get yourself a snack and then sleep to.  You will be thankful for that sleep when you are up at 3am feeding.

7. Beware of other mothers.  Sure, its nice to have another mother to commiserate with, but beware of women out to sabotage you.  Ya know, the perfect mother. Both her and her kids impeccably dressed. "My kid did _____. She/he is so smart/gifted/bright." She is the one-upper. If your kids did something, hers did it better.  Most likely, she is talking out of her ass.  She is probably just as stressed out as you are. Also, never never never allow yourself to be compared to celebrity moms.  They have trainers, stylists, nanny's, etc.  Also, spanx.

8. It only gets harder. Sure things get easier as your child grows and becomes more self sufficient, but it also gets harder.  Well, maybe it doesn't get harder, but it definitely doesn't get easier.  The issues change, the conflict... but there are always gonna be some sort of challenge to deal with.

9. This too shall pass.  Lather, rinse, repeat. Often.

10. It's totally worth it.  Your child will stress you out beyond belief.  But every night, after you put them to bed, you will sit on the couch and reminisce about the day.  You will look at your husband (or significant other, or to yourself) and say how much you love her.  How amazing she is and how lucky you are.  And you won't even remember how difficult the day was.  All you will remember is how sweet she was when you read her a bedtime story, and she told you she loves you and gives you a kiss. :) Its what I live for.

Now hop on over to Julia's blog and see what other moms have to say!

3 comments:

Julia said...

i love your list. you came up with some unique answers. and they are all so true!! being a mommy is hard work. i cried so many times when both my kids were babies... and it's OK!!

Natalie said...

Fantastic advice! This is a great post for new mamas :)

Here from Twitter where Julia just mentioned this post...glad I was on and that I found it!

Lisa said...

I love your #10 - so very true. My 4yo can challenge me til I want to just scream, but at the end of the day all I remember are the silly things she said or the Eskimo kiss she gave me before bed :-)

and crying... Yes, good for the soul!

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