Its Not So Bad Afterall

I feel so lucky for everything in my life right now.

And for the first time in a really long time

I feel like I am truly and genuinely

HAPPY.

*source*

Of course, let me say that right now we are in a tougher spot financially than we have ever been.  With the move and the fire and the cost to "rebuild" our lives; its been really really tough.  We are struggling.

But I'm not worried.  Because I am confident we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.  My health is improving, I think its been over a month since I had a major panic attack WHOO HOO! New meds, new environment, new outlook on life.

I feel good.

I know this rough patch is temporary. We are saving so much money! Living on this side of town, Steve is able to bike and ride the bus to work. We cut our gas bill in half.  No more furnace. Water, sewer, and garbage included. A smaller yard. Family activities within walking distance. It just all feels better.  And with no computer, that means no paying for Internet, X-box live and Netflix. Although, I really miss Netflix!!!

Am I stressed? Yup.

Am I sad? Sometimes more, sometimes less.

As I unpack what we did get out, I feel overcome by happiness.  Each box contains something I thought was lost forever. In each box a little miracle.  But as the boxes dwindle, I am faced with the realization that there is so much we still do not have.  Each box is a reminder of what was destroyed.  As the number of boxes grow smaller, so do the little miracles.  The treasures. 

This weekend I found a box of Goose's coats that I thought were all left at the old house. And as I unpacked her boxes, I remembered her coat rack was still mounted to the wall outside her bedroom, with coats and pictures still on it.

I went through my scrapbooks and cried.

I remembered all of the large professional portraits we never had framed. They were still "safely" in their envelopes in my old craft room.  Saw remnants of Molly on nearly every page... a solitary hair clinging between the pages.  I didn't wipe them away. 

Hubs told me he felt the same way about the smell of our couch.

Musty old dog. Yum.

Okay, not really, but still Molly.

I had her first and last collar saved in my bedroom.

But they weren't "saved"

It kills me to think she is still at that old house, all alone.

But I have her leash. And some chew toys.

And a few stray hairs.

And a stinky couch..

It's quite a contradicting life I am living right now.

So happy and peaceful and yet so sad and stressful at the same time.

It's somewhat of a balancing act, but this time I'm not afraid to fall.

I'm not scared to be sad.

The stressful feeling isn't overwhelming.

I feel like I am dealing, transitioning, re-establishing who I really want to be.

Who I really AM.

I am setting some big goals.

And for the first time (in a really long time)

I feel like I'm going to complete them.

And not just that...

I am going to blow every one out of the water.

Hi-8-us

Taking a bit of a break.

See you, most likely, in June, after the move.

Sorbet Sunday

I had a full weekend of packing. And cleaning. And moving. 

It was... less than fun.

So I had to take many breaks. 

And Goose kept lamenting that "cleaning is BOR-ring!"

So, I can make excuses and blame the breaks on her.

She played dress up.

She also unpacked toys faster than we could pack them.

So, I decided to stop at Lowes today and I picked up some seeds.

I had planned on doing this project, but it was more mess than I could handle today.

We planted some seeds instead.

I got basil, tomatoes, peas, watermelon and pumpkin.

I also potted some lemon mint from the yard to take with us. 

The gnomes are hanging out in the pot.

My hope is that they will be ready to plant outside by the time we move in a couple weeks.

I also redid my manicure. 

I am totally loving the multi-colored nails at the moment.

Even though the weather was crap, I was totally in a springy mood today.

And now, Hubs is in reading Goose a story, I'm up next.

And then, I fully intend to melt into the couch and not move for the rest of the night.

Hope you all had a productive weekend too!

Countdown to Moving Day

T minus 31 days until we move.

I couldn't be more excited!
We will be downsizing, sort of.  The house is smaller than where we currently live, but the space is used so much more efficiently.
There is more closet space in the master bedroom of our new house than there is in our current house (yes, the whole house.)
There is a linen closet.
And a coat closet.

It's got a pretty small yard, but there is still enough room for my picinic table in the back and room in the front for a strawberry patch.
I might even plant some flowering shade plants under those trees to the left.

It's charming!
The bedrooms are double the size of what we have now.
I'm so excited for Goose! She will actually be able to PLAY in her room!
There is a cute little nook for the kitchen table.
And the landlord said I could paint!
Yes, paint. With color!
::sigh::
Wonderful!

Another perk is that its within walking distance to pretty much everything.
Downtown.
Several parks and the best little burger joint ever!
Target...
JoAnn's...
It's closer to work for both Hubs and I.
Closer to daycare.

Rent is going to be relatively the same, but this location is SO much better.
I really hate our current house.
The space is just all wrong. Bad energy.
And I really like our new landlord.

So this weekend (and the next few weekends) I will be packing.
And cleaning.
And cleaning and packing.
And moving.

We get the keys to our new place on the 15th of May and we will be out of our old place by the end of the month. 
I'm a little freaked out.
We've lived in our current house for five years.  And we have never attempted a move with a child in tow.  This should be quite the adventure.  Luckily, the chaos should only last a month and then we can settle into a new routine in our new house.

Wish me luck.  Oh, and if any of you know where the laundry fairy is, could you send her my way? I could really use all the help I can  get!

Thanks!

Kisses!