If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have already caught on... or maybe not, I've been trying to keep it quiet. Here is my big news... this Friday is my last day of work. As of November 1st, I will be a stay at home mommy.
It finally got to the point that my health issues were really interfering with my job. My boss has been more than understanding for the past couple of rough years and I completely respect his decision to find someone who can be in the office consistently. I will be getting unemployment so that will soften the blow of the lost income, but I have to admit I am a little scared.
I don't know if scared is the right word, apprehensive, maybe? Obviously, the lack of income is a main concern. But I think for me, the biggest thing is that, for the first time in my adult life, I will be unemployed. I will have no job. I've worked since I was 15 and always had a job. A coffee stand, an ice cream store, the bead store, and the law office.
I've never had to struggle to find a job. I got my job at the bead store kind of by default, I was dating the owner's son, after all. I was in the store one day shopping and his mother asked me if I wanted a job, I said yes and showed up the next day. I worked there for nearly 5 years. Even this job pretty much fell into my lap. My friend worked for my boss (he is her grandfather) she wanted less hours and I wanted a new job. That was 7 years ago.
Seven years of my life have been dedicated to this job. No, it wasn't my favorite. I've never been a fan of paperwork. And lets be honest, as a Legal Assistant, paper work is all I do. But it was still a good job. I've had great benefits and perks, a lot of flexibility and the most understanding boss in the world. I've been pretty happy, albeit a bit lonely here. I am also a social person and I miss the constant person-to-person interactions I had when working retail. Sure, I work with clients on a daily basis, but the contact is limited and, well, paperwork. Also, I don't have any co-workers other than my boss. It's not like I'd spend my day chatting it up, but having someone to relate to is essential in relieving job stress. There are other people that work in this office (though not for my boss) but they aren't technically "co-workers."
It's a little sad though, thinking about the cases I've worked on and the relationships I have formed with clients. I know this office back and forth. The clients, the cases... I'm invested in so many things here. I personally care about many of these clients and their cases. There are people I want so much to succeed and have their wrongs be righted. It's sad to know that I won't see the cases to completion and won't get to share in the joy of our clients. It wasn't my favorite work, but it was and is rewarding.
I'm also scared to be a stay at home mom. I'll be completely honest, this terrifies me more than anything. I have been known to have a tough time on the weekends, let alone seven days a week. We are going to try and keep Goose in daycare. Not only for my sanity, but for hers. She loves to learn and loves her friends, it would break my heart to separate her from something she loves so much. But I'm also excited because, other than my maternity leave, I have never been able to stay home with Goose. I'm already planning outings with other mommy friends and craft projects.
And craft projects... I will have time to break into my craft room and go crazy! I plan on working on my Etsy store, any extra money I can bring in will help. Hopefully, I can spend more time on my blog too. Maybe I can even become a "real" blog with giveaways and sponsors and stuff. Or maybe I'll just start with my Etsy store and go from there. Anything I can do from home I'm gonna have to try!
Mostly, though, I am EXCITED! I've never had to struggle for a job. I've never had to look. I've never had an opportunity like this. I have been tossing around several ideas for a while that are looking like more of a possibility than ever. (I don't want to say anything in case I jinx it! ::knockonwood::) I'm not worried about not finding anything. I'm not planning on looking for a while (provided we can make it work financially) because I need to focus on my health right now and get my shizz figured out. I need to get healthy before I can responsibly and professionally look for a job.
I'm hoping that by the closing of this door, another will open. It usually does. And I hope that it will be better. I can only have faith that this is the path I am meant to take. This has been an incredibly tumultuous time in my life and I have to trust and have faith that its where I am meant to be. It's not up for me to question just to act.
This may be my last Working Mom Wednesday post for a while. I've had a wonderful time following Julia's meme and will continue to visit those that link up to it!
